The Strange Reality of Growing Up, Things Nobody Tells You About

By Hifza Ehtisham

When we were little, we always wanted to grow up. We would say things like, “When I grow up, I’m going to do this…” as if entering adulthood was a destination where everything would finally make sense. We pictured ourselves having our own careers, making our own decisions, and living our best life. Growing up sounded fun because we thought it meant freedom.

But nobody actually tells you what really happens when you finally get there.

For years, we followed a clear roadmap. School led to the next grade, then to university, and ultimately to graduation. We always had another step waiting ahead. We became so used to these steps that we rarely questioned what came next.

Then the roadmap ends.

For the first time, you’re free to choose what you want to do, where you want to go, and what kind of life you want to build. But why don’t you feel free? Why is there so much pressure when nobody is actually pressuring you? No teacher is reminding you about a deadline or a syllabus telling you what comes next, yet somehow the pressure feels louder than ever.

And suddenly, we realize that growing up is not as simple as we imagined it as kids.

Then comes the real challenge: the job search. You watch your friends get jobs while you send out application after application, hoping to land a job, but then you start questioning your own capabilities. Instead of scrolling Instagram Reels, you find yourself scrolling more on LinkedIn. Life gets so serious that checking your email becomes the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning. You get interviewed and then get ghosted by companies. You start wondering whether you’re simply unlucky or not good enough.

Then you look around and see that people who are already working are struggling too. Someone is thriving, someone is unhappy with their job, one of your friends got married, and someone just started a new business. You start comparing your timeline with theirs. You want to find the work that you love, a workplace that you wake up happy in the morning for. But you realize that you sometimes have to do things you don’t love because you have to start somewhere, and life still has bills to pay.

And somewhere in between all of this, you learn bitter truths you never wanted to know. Sometimes even your closest people may not understand you. Relationships become complicated, people change, you have to change yourself too, and you realize certain things have to be accepted rather than fixed. That is a different kind of maturity – the kind you never asked for.

You get nostalgic, missing childhood, school, and university, when life felt lighter and understanding everything was not necessary, and perhaps that was the part of peace. Sometimes it is better to live in uncertainty than to know something that takes away your peace from you.

It hits you hard when you realize there is no going back. You have entered this phase, and there’s no going back. You need to show up, work harder, make decisions, and keep moving. Eventually, you understand that growing up isn’t about figuring out everything at once. It is about getting to know your potential, stepping up, and heading towards your own direction.

We were always told to “be successful,” but nobody really explained what success actually meant. Maybe it is not a fixed destination to reach. For one person, it might be a career; for another, financial stability, family, purpose, or simply peace of mind and being happy.

And maybe that’s the strange reality of growing up. We wanted to grow up because we thought it meant freedom. Then we entered adulthood and discovered that the real freedom comes with uncertainty, responsibility, and choices. The roadmap doesn’t really disappear because you have lost your way. It disappears because, for the first time, the road is yours to create.

Maturity is when you realize that the real luxuries in life aren’t things; they are peace of mind, time, slow mornings, good health, financial freedom, people you love, and meaningful conversations.